wake up all bleary eyed and small

• yesterday i went to the swimming pool and did some thinking. and a bit of swimming. my mind seems to be persistently recycling several points of varying importance and until they are resolved, i seem to be stuck in a rut. my decisions as of yesterday: i am going to start playing violin, if i get the scholarship to macaulays i am going to get a degree in liberal arts, i don't know if i want to be here, i am not going to be graded, i am spending too much money, i need to buy new socks and maybe write my name in them, i miss my friends, there's not enough space in this house, hiding in my room is not-acceptable, but i am content to do it anyways, i can not wait until vacation, i am going to paris, i want to go to amsterdam, i am possibly a watching buzzcocks reference, i think the muslim man in my german class hates me, javier makes my week sometimes and that is okay, i had a panic attack in the changing locker and when i got out someone had brought my backpack to lost and found, and i thought someone had taken it-- but despite the ipod in plain view and change purse and everything, everything is in it. i am quite pleased
  
• today i am sick and making flashcards. so many flashcards. i slept for 3 hours this afternoon and it's 8:40 and i have the twitchy eye syndrome. i am going to watch germany's next top model with my host sister and my host brother's girlfriend who has even noticed that something isn't right.
  
• my eye is twitching
• thank you and good night

love
katie